


two out of three ain't bad

by mara_littlebird



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Depression, Insomnia, M/M, Panic Attacks, Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-27
Updated: 2014-01-27
Packaged: 2018-01-10 06:59:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1156529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mara_littlebird/pseuds/mara_littlebird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Harry has anxiety disorder and an abusive father, along with a mother who turns her head, while Louis seems to be the only one willing to help him. But can Harry be helped?<br/>"You know the best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in-tact is to realize that two out of three ain't bad." -Fall out Boy</p>
            </blockquote>





	two out of three ain't bad

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own One Direction, nor do I own the FOB lyric used in the title. I'd love to hear your feedback, though keep in mind, the only disorders I am really familiar with are insomnia, minor anxiety, and the stutter. I'm not trying to ridicule them in any way, please let me know if you find an inaccuracy.  
> -mara (:

**September 1st**

It's Harry's first day of school. Though he's seventeen and should be excited, he’s anything but. He's been on the edge of a fit all day and it's awful. He doesn't really have friends. Who would want to deal with his nervous stutter or the way he cries when people expect too much of him?  So all Harry's got is himself, his mother, and his sister. His sister is gone at University, and his mother doesn't like to talk about Harry's anxiety.

When Harry was younger, his father would hit him. Really hard. And when Harry started crying, his father spanked him and locked him in the basement. Sometimes Harry went up to three days without eating before his father forced him to eat until he threw up.

He knew whatever happened to Gemma while he was locked in the basement was worse. She'd scream for hours on end, and then Harry would hear her cry herself to sleep. He wanted to hold her but he wasn't strong enough to break the door down. It only bruised his hands. Then he'd start panicking and crying uncontrollably.

Gemma used to hold him through his fits, singing to him quietly until he relaxed and then fell asleep. But then she moved to her flat at University and was hardly around, and only would be on holidays, a visit Harry would be long awaiting as school had just begun. This left the boy more alone than ever.

Harry didn't do well with people.  He couldn't give full class presentations with his stutter, and couldn't talk to people without wanting to throw up. He couldn't even talk to his father, just whimpered softly in reply to everything he'd say. His mother worked all the time, and she was trying to get a restraining order against the man. She told Harry it would only work if he stayed home.

So he did. And the end of his summer holiday was the worst he'd ever had because he was alone with his dad, and now he knew exactly why Gemma would scream. His father was so harsh, bending him over the table and telling Harry to bite on his arm and shut up. It made him cry harder than he ever had, until he was lightheaded.  And Harry couldn't say no. No matter how hard it hurt, no matter how horrible he felt that Gemma had to suffer through this, he had to let his father take whatever he wanted.

Harry was told to come straight home after school, and making plans with friends wasn't a problem. He had none. The problem was wanting to run away, wishing he had someone to talk to about what his father did. But Harry couldn't. Because his father would get so angry and Harry physically couldn't tell anyone.

So Harry came home, a feeling of pure terror in his chest as he was pushed to the ground as he heard the shout to, “Open your mouth.” He felt sick to his stomach. "Daddy, I'm gonna throw up, I can't," Harry begged, eyes watering. His father slapped him and completely ignored him, thrusting into Harry's mouth until he released down his throat, letting Harry go.

Harry immediately ran to the bathroom and hunched over the toilet, throwing up though he didn't have any food in his system. He was sobbing until his father came in and kicked his back, so he silenced himself and went to his room, falling asleep with tears on his face.

**September 7th**

It's been a whole week. Sometimes Harry's father is passed out by the time he gets home, so he sneaks into the kitchen and gets something to eat before going to sleep.  But today is different than any day, Harry passed out in the middle of class when the teacher asked him a question about the book they were reading.

"Hey, are you alright?" He heard someone talking to him quietly, gently tapping his cheek. He opened his eyes and saw a boy hovering over him, blinking until he focused. "They told me to bring you into the hallway until you woke up. That you wouldn't want to go to the nurse," the boy mumbled, eyes flicking all over the place.

"I... I m-mean um..." Harry mumbled, sitting up quickly and groaning because of the head rush. He looked around and his eyes watered, feeling his pulse in his head coupled with the relentless pounding in his chest.

"You... you don't look so good mate. Do you need food?" the boy asked, and Harry began sobbing, completely unaware of what he was being asked. He curled in on himself, scratching at his arms and gasping for air.

"Shh.. hey um... my name is Louis. I just... please be okay. I hate seeing people cry," Louis told him, pulling him into a hug and rubbing his back. Harry continued crying and scratching until Louis pulled the boy's hands away from his arms and forced them around his smaller frame. "Shh, I'm here alright? Just... take deep breaths. Long ones. Not short ones, okay?" Louis whispered. A nurse appeared at the end of the hallway, but Louis gave her a look telling her to keep away.

"You're okay. Just focus on my voice. I'm not going to hurt you, I just want you to stop crying, okay?" Louis whispered, rubbing Harry's back as his breathing slowed down. "It'll be fine. You'll be okay, you've just got to focus on the sound of my voice," Louis whispered. Harry nodded and took deep, calming breaths, listening to Louis talk.

"Have you eaten anything today?" Louis asked quietly, to which Harry responded with a shake of his head. "Did you sleep last night?" he asked, earning a nod from Harry. "A lot?" And Harry shook his head. Louis helped Harry get up, holding him still. "You're okay, yeah? All better now?" Louis smiled, using the sleeve of his sweater to wipe Harry's tears away.

Harry looked down, not able to make eye contact with the boy. "I-I'm sorry," he mumbled, but Louis shook his head.

"Don't be sorry for something that isn't your fault," Louis told him, leading him to a bench and sitting him down. Harry nodded and looked at Louis' hands. That was the first thing he noticed about anyone. If their hands shook a certain way, he knew it either meant they had a lot of anger or were the same as he was. If they had firm hands, he knew they were confident. Louis' hands were loose at his sides, relaxed. He had long fingers, very appreciative of music. His fingers twitched every so often, so there was something wrong with him, but he had it under control.

"Harry, we're going to send you home okay? Louis, we'd like to see you in the office," the nurse told them. Harry felt his heart face quickly, and he shook his head. "N-no," he whimpered, but Louis gave him a kind smile and pulled out a pen.

"Have you got a phone?" Louis asked quietly. Harry bit his lip and nodded. Gemma bought him a phone and paid for it so they could keep in touch. But she was always busy.

"Just call me if you need me, okay?" Louis whispered, writing his number on Harry's palm and giving him one more hug. Harry felt like he was going to throw up.

Since his dad never would have picked him up, Harry walked home, only arriving once school normally would have been let out. As soon as he went inside, his father was punching him and slapping him until Harry was in complete hysterics. But his father didn't want sex today. That was the only upside.

Harry ran to his room after and tried remembering the sound of Louis' voice as he cried. Around one in the morning, he sent Louis a text.

_1:13 am_

_Are you awake? I had to wait for my dad to go to sleep_

_1:14_

_I have a hard time sleeping. Call whenever you need to x._

Harry quickly dialled the boy's number, trying to sound calm.

"Hello. Are things okay?" Louis asked immediately.

"N-no," he mumbled, sniffling and closing his eyes, "C-can you j-j-just talk to m-me?" Harry whimpered.

"Of course. Alright, um.. sorry I'm kind of unfocused right now. My medicine is wearing off," Louis mumbled, "I just bought myself a new CD. The CD is old, but it's new to me. All Time Low," he told Harry, who closed his eyes, trying to relax.

"There's this song on it and I remember it was the whole reason I bought the album. It's called Therapy, have you heard it?" Louis asked.

"No" Harry replied quietly. Louis smiled, glad he could hear Harry's breathing slowing down.

"I'll play it for you, okay?" Louis asked, plugging headphones into his phone so he could hear Harry clearly, then turning his CD player on and skipping to the correct track.

Harry took a deep breath and listened to the song, eyes closed as he heard Louis humming along until it was over. "You tired?" Louis asked Harry, biting his lip. Harry hummed softly.

"I'll stay on until you fall asleep okay? Remember, you can call me whenever you need to," Louis told him, and Harry could hear the smile in his voice, could picture his bright blue eyes.

"Thank y-you,"Harry whispered, keeping the phone against his ear before getting comfortable. Louis kept his CD playing as he wrote in his journal. He was glad that he was able to help Harry out. Louis remembered what the nurse had told him.

Harry struggles with anxiety. You did the right thing, calming him down. It was very mature of you. Try and get him to talk to you. He doesn't have any friends and he needs an outlet.

Louis had known already, of course. He had his own fits, but not as often as Harry. He knew what helped. And Harry needed a friend. Louis remembered how he felt when Harry was crying. It wasn't a great feeling.

He heard Harry's breathing even out and smiled. "Harry?" he whispered, and when there was no reply, he hung up with a sigh. Maybe that's what Louis needed as well,a friend.

**September 9th**

Harry was getting pushed around by kids at school. They were laughing at him because of the cut on his face, laughing about how he couldn't even defend himself. So he just cried. Not hysterical, like his fits, just a normal cry when you feel too weak to do anything else.

And then Louis found him. Told the boys to stop it or they'd be sorry. And even though Louis was a tiny little thing, he could be threatening when he really wanted to. Harry immediately wrapped both arms around him and let himself be comforted. He felt the need to listen to Louis when the boy told him to stop crying.

"Harry, I'm taking you to my house. I'm done dealing with ignorant pricks," Louis mumbled, hands shaking a bit as he led Harry out. "Don't worry, no one is home," Louis mumbled, rubbing Harry's back so he would calm down.

"O-okay," Harry sniffled, nodding and following Louis home. He was led inside, then downstairs into a basement when he started panicking. His heart rate picked up and his breathing became shallow, feeling Louis next to him. Louis turned the lights on and Harry saw a bedroom setup, starting to cry harder. When Louis tried to get Harry to sit on the bed, the boy just screamed and shook his head.

“What do you want Harry? I want to help you,” Louis whispered, “I’m not going to do anything. Just sit down, and you’ll see,” Louis challenged him. Harry took a deep breath and sat down on the corner of the bed, still crying. “See?You’re okay,” Louis whispered, wrapping his arms around Harry, who let out another choked sob. “Just calm yourself down,” Louis whispered, running his fingers through the boy’s curls. Harry whimpered, his father had spent far too much time pulling his hair, but this was different. Soothing. It reminded him of Gemma, the way she’d hold him and rub his back. The comparison between the two opened him up a bit more.

Once he stopped crying, he closed his eyes, and it became easy for him to fall asleep just like that. That’s why Louis seemed so familiar, because he was doing the same thing Gemma always had. His hands were the same as hers in the way that they shook, and Harry would take Louis over no one any day.

Louis just held the boy, closing his eyes and breathing slowly. He watched the way Harry relaxed in his sleep, pink lips parted as he took long breaths. After an hour, Harry woke up and looked at Louis with a smile. "Hey there sleepy head," Louis whispered, brushing his fingers over Harry's cheek which was flushed with warmth from sleep. "Want something to eat? It's nearly lunch time," Louis whispered softly, and Harry nodded.

Louis hummed and got up, watching Harry shiver. "Come on. You can bring the blanket." He helped Harry up and wrapped the blanket around his shoulders.  "I hope you like chocolate chip toaster waffles," Louis grinned, leading him to the kitchen and frowning when he heard Harry's stomach growl. He put waffles in the toaster and opened the fridge, pulling out a yogurt as well as a bottle of water. "Here you go," he offered, and the corners of Harry’s mouth turned up.

"Th-thank you," Harry mumbled, taking the yogurt and eating it quickly. Meanwhile, Louis was pulling the waffles out and covering them in syrup, placing the plate in front of Harry along with a fork.

"Don't eat too quickly, you'll get a stomach ache," Louis chuckled, running his fingers through Harry's curls. Harry relaxed and nodded,trying to slow down, but Louis just kept on putting food in front of him and he was starving.

"You act as though you haven't eaten for days," Louis mumbled, furrowing his eyebrows. When Harry stopped eating, he frowned.  "You... I mean, you've eaten, right Harry?" Louis asked. Harry took a deep breath and shook his head.

"No-ot for th-three days," Harry mumbled. Louis sat next to him and wrapped his arms around the boy, rubbing his back. "You can always ask me for food, alright?" Louis whispered into his curls. Harry let out a shaky breath and nodded, eyes watering.

"Thank you," he whispered slowly, nuzzling Louis' neck. "C-can we la-lay down now?" Harry whispered, and Louis nodded, grabbing a couple snacks and bringing them down to his room, squeezing Harry's hand so he wouldn't get nervous again.

He helped Harry into the bed carefully before turning the heat up a bit and crawling in next to him. "Ho-hold m-me?" Harry breathed out into the silence. Louis nodded and wrapped his arms carefully around Harry and pulled him close.

"You've got no reason to be nervous Harry. I just want to see you smile," Louis murmured.  Harry nodded slowly and chewed on the inside of his cheek. They lay like that until Harry's father called him and shouted through the phone that he wanted Harry home right away. Harry winced and quickly got up, Louis tucking food into Harry's bag and hugging him tight before driving him home.


End file.
